There are so many techniques which increase self-esteem in young children and adults. I want to cover a couple of them here. One of the most important ways is the use of “I am “statements. Please be aware what you are saying to children when you use “you are…” statements. Especially as parents’ voice might become the child’s inner voice when they grow up. Teachers have massive impact on children as well. I remember when I was about 11 years old; I was good at all the school subjects except music and English as both my English and music teachers were so scary, unapproachable and cruel. I used to physically shake when they walked in to the classroom. I took so many private lessons to compensate for these lessons however nothing worked. They made me truly believed that I was so bad at music and English. They shouted at everybody in the classroom and told people that they were not good at anything. I do wonder if they released that what they were doing was so wrong and left a lifelong impact on all those innocent children.
I truly believe that lack of love for oneself is one of the major causes for most of the problems in the world ranging from depression to cancer. Louise Hay, one of the world’s most profound and successful psychologists and author of the best-selling book You Can Heal Your Life, says, “When people come to me with a problem, I don’t care what it is—poor health, lack of money, fulfilling relationships, or stifled creativity, there is only one thing I ever work on, and that is loving the self. I find that as we really love, accept and approve of ourselves exactly as we are, then everything in life works. It’s as if little miracles are everywhere. Our health improves, we attract more money, our relationships become much more fulfilling, and we begin to express ourselves in creatively fulfilling ways. All this seems to happen without even trying.”
If you are a supportive, caring and loving parent, your children are highly likely to become confident and loving adults, however, if you make fun of your child and put them down all the time, this become very unlikely and you become their critical inner voice which will stop them become happier and confident individuals. I am sure no parent would want to scar their children knowingly. So as you can see if you want to increase self-esteem in your child, please start making positive statements to your child such as “you are such a clever boy”,” you are so talented”, “ you are very creative”…etc. Always remind them though we don’t have high expectation on them when we praise them. We become what we believe. If we believe we are creative, we will become creative, if we believe we are not good at art, we do everything to support this believe and become bad at art. Pay attention to your language and your children language and change their view of themselves when it is not too late. This would help them to increase their self-esteem. I highly recommend affirmation for young children. Such as “I am beautiful” “I am good at Mathematics”. Ask them to repeat these sentences during the day, if they add emotions in to them, they will become more powerful. If they take these statements on board, it creates a strong beliefs system in them. I am leaving you with this beautiful quote from Gandhi which I truly believe and support.
Your beliefs become your thoughts,
Your thoughts become your words,
Your words become your actions,
Your actions become your habits,
Your habits become your values,
Your values become your destiny.”